This matters to all of us
[Trigger warning: This post discusses abortion and stories of women who obtained abortion care.]
About seven weeks ago, I awaited the results of my “non-invasive prenatal test” (NIPT) (thankfully, the test was normal) — a blood test that many women are given the option to take at around 10 weeks of pregnancy. This test analyzes small fragments of placental DNA that are circulating in the mother’s blood. The test can not only determine the sex of a fetus, but also detect the presence of genetic abnormalities, including trisomy 13 (Patau Syndrome), trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome), and trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). If the test returns positive, further testing and a course of action will be recommended. Of course this test sparks a level of anxiety while awaiting the results, especially given that Patau and Edwards Syndromes are incompatible with life.
While I awaited my results, which I felt beyond grateful were normal, I learned more about Kate Cox’s case against the state of Texas. Following an abnormal NIPT, Kate confirmed during an amniocentesis that her pregnancy had full Trisomy 18, meaning that her pregnancy either would not survive until birth, the baby would be stillborn, or die minutes after birth. But because of Texas’s abortion ban, Kate was being forced to carry the pregnancy to term and then suffer from the emotional and physical trauma of birthing a baby who would not survive, while also risking her future fertility. Kate and her doctor petitioned the court to allow her doctor to provide abortion care, since without this permission, Kate’s doctor would face a fine of at least $100,000, up to 99 years in prison, and revocation of their medical license. Last month, Kate’s case was denied at the Texas Supreme Court. Kate has now left the state.
“I do not want to continue the pain and suffering that has plagued this pregnancy. . . I do not want my baby to arrive in this world only to watch her suffer. I need to end my pregnancy now so that I have the best chance for my health and a future pregnancy.” - Kate Cox
Zurawski v. State of Texas is currently pending before the Texas Supreme Court and the outcome of this case will add clarity to the “medical emergency” exception to the Texas abortion ban. The exception that Kate Cox was unable to take advantage of. Amanda Zurawski was denied abortion care after her water broke at 18 weeks, nearly killing her from a sepsis infection. And there are many examples like this.
Beyond medical reasons to obtain abortion care, a recent study estimated that over 64,500 pregnancies in the 14 abortion ban states1 have been caused by rape. Although some of these women would choose to carry the pregnancy regardless of the law, some women would choose abortion. And now, states eliminate their choice.
While listening to a podcast about Kate’s case, during the week I waited for my own NIPT results, I broke down sobbing in my kitchen.
Leaning on my kitchen counter, I could hardly stand on my two feet. My sobs were guttural, coming from deep inside me. Grieving from the place that has existed within all women since the beginning of human time. The place of collective energy shared by all women.
Especially because at the time, I did not know the results of my test, I was so easily able to step into Kate’s shoes despite living in a part of the country where I can choose whether or not to obtain abortion care. Just like Kate, I deeply desire the baby growing inside me. My husband and I planned for this; trying to get pregnant for some number of months. Being in a position where abnormal NIPT results led me to face the choice of whether to terminate the pregnancy would be absolutely devastating. But what would be worse? If the ability to choose was taken away from me. I cannot fathom it. And yet, so many, too many, women in America are in this position.
America. The country where we value freedom and autonomy. Except if you have a uterus.
Seven weeks later, I write this with tears in my eyes. This grief will never go away.
I think about every little girl in this country—the little girl I am growing—and grieve for their little bodies. Putting aside all of the other ways women are valued less than men, these little girls don’t yet realize how their bodily autonomy is valued less than a man’s by many states. I think about how to break this news to my daughter at some point in the future. I want her to feel empowered in her body, and empowered to impact change. Undoubtedly there will be periods of feeling hopeless and powerless, but there is opportunity to return to empowerment.
We have the opportunity to reverse the current state of affairs. This is why when I vote, I must consider the women whose stories are recounted below, other pregnant women in America, women who want to become pregnant, and the millions of little girls who no longer have bodily autonomy. I ask you to do the same. The Supreme Court currently has at least two older Justices who may retire during another Trump presidency (Justice Alito and Justice Thomas), allowing for two young judges to sit on the court for decades and whittle away additional reproductive rights. The stories of the women below—Samantha, Taylor, Kristen, Kaitlyn, Amy, Rebecca, Rachel, Jennifer, and Kayla—are the result of Trump’s Supreme Court nominations. This wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
This post is in honor of the women who are serving as plaintiffs in a variety of ongoing lawsuits. In addition to Kate and Amanda, women including:
Samantha Casiano. At 20 weeks pregnant found out her baby would not survive, was forced to carry her pregnancy to term. After suffering through months of people congratulating her on her pregnant belly, her baby died four hours after birth. Samantha did not have the resources to travel out of state to receive an abortion.
Taylor Edwards. At 17 weeks pregnant, she learned that her baby had a fatal condition. Since she could not receive an abortion in Texas, she attempted to travel to New Mexico, but could not get an appointment. She soon began vomiting daily and suffering both physically and emotionally. Although she was able to travel to a clinic in Colorado and obtain an abortion, she fears becoming pregnant again in Texas even though she and her husband still want a child.
Kristen Anaya. Her water broke at 16 weeks, causing her to almost die from a sepsis infection because her doctors could not obtain permission to perform an abortion until the last moment.
Kaitlyn Kash. After discovering at 13 weeks that her baby would not survive, her doctor recommended she seek “a second opinion, but outside Texas.” She obtained abortion care in Kansas (where protestors harassed her), but then after becoming pregnant again and suffering a miscarriage, she struggled to obtain the medication necessary to pass the pregnancy. After another miscarriage without intervention, she gave birth to her daughter. Following her birth, she needed a D&C procedure (same procedure used in some abortions) to remove remaining placental tissue, but the hospital had difficulty locating the equipment and staff needed. Her health deteriorated, she lost consciousness, and was transferred to the ICU. After recovering, she was told she was lucky she didn’t lose her uterus.
Amy Coronado. On the same day that the Texas ban went into effect, she received her diagnosis that her baby would not survive due to multiple brain abnormalities. She traveled out of state to receive abortion care, but had to pay out of pocket because her insurance did not cover out of state care.
Rebecca Milner. At 20 weeks pregnant, she suffered from premature rupture of the membranes and her baby was unlikely to survive. Although she was able to travel from Tennessee to Virginia to obtain abortion care, she needed emergency treatment for a sepsis infection after returning to Tennessee due to the delay in obtaining abortion care.
Rachel Fulton. While pregnant with her second son, she learned the pregnancy was unlikely to survive, and continuing the pregnancy put her at risk of developing a life-threatening complication. She was forced to seek abortion care outside Tennessee.
Jennifer Adkins. At 12 weeks, she learned her baby was unlikely to survive due to multiple conditions and that if she did not miscarry, she risked developing a life-threatening condition. Only because she received the financial support of two abortion funds was she able to travel from Idaho to Oregon to receive abortion care.
Kayla Smith. Pregnant with her second child, she learned at 19 weeks that her baby had a fatal and inoperable heart condition. She also had a heightened risk of developing preeclampsia if she carried the pregnancy to term. Kayla and her husband traveled from Idaho to Seattle to receive abortion care, but the cost of the trip required them to take out a personal loan and obtain financial assistance from friends and family.
There are many more…
Imagine being one of these women. Or the partner, mother, father, sister, brother, or friend of one of these women. Imagine not having the resources to travel to a different state. For someone you love to be forced to face potentially life-threatening severe physical and emotional suffering because of the state. This issue matters to all of us.
Reflection Questions:
How do you return to empowerment after feeling powerless?
How would you talk to your daughter (or son!) about these issues?
How and when have you tapped into collective grief?
If you would like to contribute to the funding of these (and future) court cases, donate to the Center for Reproductive Rights.
Total abortion bans exist in Idaho, North Dakota, South Dakota, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, and West Virginia. Partial bans exist in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Arizona, Utah, and Nebraska. The remainder of the states protect the right to abortion until viability, close to the third trimester, or with no gestational limit.
This is so well written and heartbreaking. I’m also having a hard time with the fact that there were almost 520,000 rapes in an 18 month period in 14 states.